One beat, one movement of her body, was all it took for her to remember what it felt like to be alive. She could never explain it, but somehow dancing always made her feel like someone else. Free of all the burdens, possessed, transported into another reality, where pain and sorrow did not exist. No wonder she been down so long. Caught in an endless cycle of sadness. The past year had been a difficult one for her.
One by one, little things dragging her down, till, in the end, all she did was sit in her room, hiding from the world.
The music was playing loudly, and her heart was full of joy. She hadn’t been with her friends in months.
Just earlier that evening, her mom entered her room with a sad look on her face telling her,” I would really like for you to get up and go out with your sister-in-law.”She tried to resist, but something in her mom’s eyes told her not even to try. So reluctantly, she got up and dressed and, despite all her misgivings, left with her sister-in-law.
Upon entering the club, hearing the music and old friends running up to her, she started to begin to relax.”Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all,” she thought to herself, as she joined her friends on the dance floor and within seconds was transformed into the happy girl she so longed to be.
There was Bianca, ever so full of life, hugging and kissing her, whispering in her ear, “It is so good to have you back. Now let’s have fun.” Biggie, as we all lovingly called her, knew of some of the trials that had faced her that year, and ever the loving friend knew exactly how to gently pull her right back into the midst of her friends. Most of her best friends were there, egging her on and slowly pulling her back out of herself.
Laughing, dancing, and kidding around. It really had been a long time since she had felt so free. It felt great to smile, even if just for a few hours, she could escape the dread of her life. Pretend to be whoever she wanted to be, enjoy life to the fullest. It always amazed her how the simplest things such as dancing could lift the veil and make life seem worth living.
So she danced and danced some more. Funny, but whenever she went out, all she did was dance all night long, barely ever leaving the dance floor. Not wanting this feeling of joy and freedom to the end. An hour later, Biggie nudged her and pointed to the other end of the dance floor. Following her gaze, she noticed a whole bunch of guys hanging around the bar surrounding the dance floor. She could tell by their haircuts and how they dressed that they were all Americans.
” Omg ,look at that tall one with the black hair. Isn’t he dreamy?” Biggie asked. Taking another look she turned back to her smiling and nodding in agreement .He was cute. The next hour was spent trying to get closer and closer to that group. Somehow trying to get their attention their way. Slowly she drifted back into her make believe world. Only semi aware of what her friends were doing. She noticed them laughing and glancing back and forth the whole time.
Wondering what was going on she turned to see what they were looking at and saw that Biggie was still focused on the tall guy. Just as she was about to turn away ,shaking her head in laughter she felt a pair of eyes on her. Next to the tall one was a new guy, a little shorter yet dreamy in his own way,gazing straight into her eyes. She held his gaze for a bit then nervously looked away ,thinking to herself that she must have imagined the jolt she felt.
She tried to focus on her dancing but somehow couldn’t shake that feeling that she was being watched, so she kept turning slowly, and to her surprise, his eyes never left her. She tried to ignore him, thinking that he must be watching someone else and not her, till Andrea, her other friend, leaned over and whispered in her ear, “don’t turn around, but I think a guy is staring at you the whole time.”
That, of course, made Heike a lot more nervous, yet giddy on the other hand. She kept waiting for him to come up to her or at least smile her way but nothing. As time went on, she began to doubt herself again and decided to test him. She told her friends she would be right back and walked to the club’s back and hid in the bathroom for a few minutes.
Coming back out, she was delighted to see he had followed her, but to be sure, went on another journey to the other side of the club. And as she turned, she was saddened when she didn’t see him. Yelling at herself how stupid it was anyways, she just had a great imagination, and it was all in her head. She went to order a drink, and as she turned, he was again watching her, standing within a few feet of her.
“OK,” she thought, “this is really getting to be annoying. She passed him slowly, hoping he would talk to her but nothing. This was becoming very confusing. Did he like her or not? Why stare at her and follow her but not say anything to her. As shy as she was, she could not even think of going up to him. The fear of rejection was too great. So she just went back to doing her favorite thing, dancing, and tried to put the stranger out of her mind.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she caught a glance of him and the tall one talking and smiling and pointing her way.”What the fuck,” she thought,” are they making fun of me, or does he really like me ?” This was really getting on her nerves. Another hour went by of him watching her and her trying to ignore him.
Finally thinking that maybe the reason he did not approach her was due to him figuring she did not speak English, she started to look around the club seeing if she could locate one of her friends that spoke English, and her eyes fell on Micheal.”Now what ?” she thought?. This was really beginning to be funny. She was so frustrated she wanted to kill someone.
Why on earth was he looking at her. It never occurred to her that he might be just as shy as she was. Just then, Biggie leaned over and told her to meet her in the bathroom.”Wonder what’s up,” Heike thought. She followed her, and the moment they entered, Biggie turned around, and Heike knew it wasn’t anything good.” I wasn’t going to say anything tonight,” she started,” but I thought you should know what happened last week.”
Heike asked her,” what do you mean? ” wondering what it could be. Biggie then went on to tell her that she and some of their mutual friends had been out walking last Saturday, when at a crossing who should stop in his car but your little trouble. Only Biggie and one other of her friends knew the identity of him up till then. But I guess Biggie had changed all that.
She went on explaining how she couldn’t keep quiet anymore and pointed to his car and said to our friends,” there is that scumbag Heike has been hiding from.” Guess that was all it took because next, you knew she said, both Oliver and Sasha rounded the car.
“OMG,” Heike thought,” I really don’t want to hear this.” She lowered her head, trying to focus on the floor and brace herself for it all. What she gathered from Biggies rambling on and on was worse than what she ever could have thought. It went something like this.
Sasha went to the passenger side of the car, and miraculously it was unlocked and jumped in at the same time as Oliver went to the driver’s side of the car and threw the door open. From what Biggie could see from her angle Oliver took out his knife and held it too Troubles throat, yelling at him that if he were ever to get anywhere near me, he would hunt him down and really make use of that knife.
Shaking her head, Heike told Biggie, ” it doesn’t matter anymore,” and hugged her friend, then left the bathroom to try and forget that whole scene. She had to admit to herself that little news changed a lot, but she had trouble trying to believe it could truly have been that easy.”Knock it off,” she told herself, “I am here to enjoy myself, and that is what I am going to do .”
After a few minutes of dancing she slowly drifted back into her comfort zone,trying to figure out what was up with that dude who seemed to have nothing better to do then follow her around the club. Another few minutes later and out of nowhere she decided this was it,somehow she was going to do something.
After looking around the dance floor for a while, she spotted Micheal again and walked up to him, starting a conversation. Somehow the topic of age came up, and even though she knew he really was 25, she acted shocked when he said so. He looked no more than 16, but she had seen his ID previously. He was really getting into arguing with her as she was trying to nudge him closer and closer to the group of Americans when she flat out told him to prove it.
He pulled out his driver’s license, and in a mock gesture, she started to pull him right over to the bar, plumping herself down right next to the guy. Michael had no clue he was being used but got a kick out of the playful argument. Heike had known him for years, and he couldn’t help remembering the huge crush she had on him and mention so to her. She laughed at that, telling him,” those were the good old days,” leaving that statement to hang there.
He left after a few more minutes to join his girlfriend back on the dance floor, and she was left to sit with her back to Mr. Dreamy Eyes, trying to figure out what next. Never in her life had she approached a strange guy before, but for some reason, she just had to meet him. There was this pull she couldn’t even begin to explain to herself. So after a few more minutes of nervously sitting there, she just turned around and went for it.
” Hi,” was all she could come up with and almost choked on those words. He returned her hi with a shy smile on his face that almost made her melt right then and there. They started talking, and at one point, he asked her what she did for a living, and she told him she worked nights, and after seeing his funny look on his face, she hurriedly exclaimed’ ” Oh no-no. Not that kind of job. I work as a baker at night .”
“Haha, that wasn’t what I thought anyway. The funny thing I was thinking about was how I work nights myself. I just thought it was a strange coincidence,” he quickly replied. She sighed with relief, nervously faking a smile. ” Man, that was close. ” she thought to herself.
It was 5 am at this time, and the club was slowing down. She hadn’t been aware of it before but could tell by the selecting the songs playing that it was almost closing time. He asked her if she would like to dance with him when the song selection slowed down, and she excitedly agreed. Unbeknownst to him, she really feared being close to anyone, freezing and clamming up, and prayed he would not realize it. She had a habit of always doing so and being mad at herself later.
He led her to the dance floor when the first slow song started, which happened to be “the winds of change” by Europe. As he took her in his arms, she couldn’t help but think about those words and was stunned to realize she felt she had arrived home in his arms. Snuggling up closer to him, she just let the song take over and enjoyed this feeling of perfectness. They ended up dancing to the next song by Brian Adams, ” Anything I do I do it for you,” and she couldn’t explain what, but somehow she felt really funny. She had never been in love with anyone, so it wouldn’t be until later that she would realize what that feeling was.
After the song ended, they followed the last few left in the club outside. They noticed something going on around them. It seemed like too many people were left hanging around in front of the club, mingling, and arguing. Still, they were too engrossed in themselves to pay much attention to anything else. Heike introduced Brian to Biggie.
Biggie, who already knew the routine, dutifully sat down, waiting for Heike to be done so they could walk home together. They took the buddy system very seriously, and no way in hell was she going to leave Heike behind with some strange guy they just met.
Despite her shyness, things just seemed to take on a life of their own that night, and within minutes, she and Brian were dancing in the street, unaware of the chaos going on around them. They stopped for a few, and Heike turned to Biggie with questioning eyes.
” Some guys are arguing over someone guy’s sister. It seems some guy ditched her tonight, then called her a slut,” she told her and continued with,” if things don’t simmer down, there is bound to be a huge fight in a few.”Heike turned and translated things to Brian and went on to continue dancing. Nothing was going to interrupt their blissful interlude that night.
Slightly aware of things escalating in the background, Brian turned so she wouldn’t have to watch the fight unfolding, but once they heard sirens, they decided it was time to get going. ” I really don’t need to be involved in this. I know the military frowns upon public scenes .” Agreeing with him, Biggie and Heike started walking with him following behind. Biggie couldn’t help but giggle and whisper into Heike’s ear,” wow, you two really hit it off big time. Let’s hope he doesn’t turn out to be a creep.” We shall see, and thanks for sticking with me,” she replied to her.
They continued walking in silence till Biggie tried to make light of tension, asking Brian some personal info, knowing full well Heike was too shy to do so herself. Plus, Heike was way too much enjoying herself and the closeness as they walked hand in hand through the night. But deep inside, she did worry about such things as, I hope he is as nice as he seems or what if I never see him again.
She wasn’t used to picking up strangers and felt completely out of her element. But then again, being as shy as she was, either situation would have been out of her element. When they reached the street that Biggie lived on, they usually separated at this point. Biggie turned and asked if she wanted her to walk her all the way home or if she was OK.” No thanks. I think I will be fine the last few feet to my house. He does seem pretty innocent.”
Biggie hugged her and said goodnight and also turned to Brian nodding in his direction, saying goodnight with a smile on her face. She knew Heike too well by now and was sure that by tomorrow she would have a story to tell her
They continued up the road to Heike’s house when Brian stopped her looking at her and asking her if it was OK for him to call her the next day. He really enjoyed the time they spent together and was looking forward to getting to know her. In Heike’s head, she was jumping up and down, clapping in her hands but tried to appear calm as she told him sure, that would be very nice.
After trying to find something to write on, she took his hand and wrote her phone number on it, and then they continued on their walk. Way too quickly did they arrive at her house, where they awkwardly stood, fumbling and fidgeting, not knowing how to end the night. She was dreading this moment.
Would he be just like most trying to take liberties upon himself? He surprised her by laying a hand on her shoulder and telling her goodnight, and after a quick smile, he turned to start walking off.
“Wow,” she thought to herself. Standing there for a while in shock, not wanting to believe her good fortune. Finally, she willed herself to move and open the front door and enter her apartment complex. Taking 2 steps at a time, trying to be as quiet as she could be, she climbed up the steps. She felt like singing and dancing, seeing how she can’t remember ever feeling this carefree.
Upon entering her house, a dark cloud threatened to decent upon her, but she shook it off. She snuck into her room and just laid down on her bed, reliving the night over and over in her head. It was all so unbelievable to her. Maybe she imagined it? Maybe he didn’t enjoy their time as much as she thought he did and wasn’t going to call her that afternoon.
She knew she is sitting on pins and needles all morning waiting for his call. Banishing all the negative thoughts, she tried to refocus on the happy feelings and eventually fell asleep, still dressed, with a happy smile pasted on her face and a sense of peace and hope.
Epiloge
15 years later
It’s Christmas eve, and all is quiet. All the kids are tugged in tight and asleep. After a long day of trying to get everything ready, they finally have a chance to reap the rewards of all their hard work. Candles are burning everywhere, filling the room with calming light and sensual smells as they stand under the tree holding hands, gazing into each other’s eyes. After a few minutes of this, she leans over to kiss him and whispers in his ears, “ I love you.”
Slowly they start to dance, and she leans in closer to snuggle against him, enjoying this never-ending feeling of oneness. This was her home, her life, and her man, till death do them part.
TheNeverEnding
Love Story
(circa Dec 2008)